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Baucham, What He Must Be

Vodie Baucham has a new book focused on a father’s role in deciding who can marry his daughter- What He Must Be: …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter. This role is important, and I hear of more and more fathers who are taking this seriously. However, most of us have not seen this done, so good examples and thoughtful reflection are at a premium. Baucham’s book aims to give us such reflection.

One of the challenges, which I see often in my work as college professor and pastor, is that many well meaning young men have never been taught what it means to be a man and are not ready to lead a family. Baucham mentions this stating:

“We cannot expect young men in our culture to turn up as ready-made husbands. Our culture is broken. As a result, young men are broken. They do not have the tools they need. This is not always due to a lack of spiritual commitment. It is usually a result of a lack of teaching and discipleship. They just don’t know what they don’t know. As a result, fathers have to consider the possibility that they may, in a very real way, have to build their own son-in-law.”

This is true. I recently had a good conversation with Douglas Bond on this very point. I was encouraged hearing how when a young man comes inquiring about his daughter he takes it as an opportunity for discipleship- not just saying “No”, when that is necessary, but showing young men what they are lacking and how to mature.

I am looking forward to reading Baucham’s book. I have no doubt it will be substantive and helpful. Baucham is a leading voice helping the church thinking more carefully about the family.

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